Time 

I don’t know what my passion really is and I am 31. I feel like thinking about time should be a definite concern by now. I have always been someone who takes their time with everything or just doesn’t care about time restrictions. I think that’s how you feel when you’re young. I am not so young anymore. I should use every second I’ve got for learning and being productive and discovering myself. At some point I want to have a family and when I do that I want to dedicate myself fully to it. I have so many plans and time seems to go by faster than i thought. I am sure I am not the only one thinking about this…

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I have been trying to wake up these past few days and get more energized. I feel like I’m in a dream world and I am trying to get my motivation back. I don’t feel like writing or getting out or doing anything productive. My past posts have been incredibly bad. I feel so disconnected from everything and everyone. I want to have my own space but my finances right now don’t let me do anything. I can’t even move. That’s how broke I am at the moment. I have gained weight because of the stress I have experienced. So, life is great! I pray every night for a better tomorrow.

The Challenge

What I am doing at the moment is really challenging. I am trying to really improve my life. I have a job in a different country, speaking a different language than my mother tongue. I am so exhausted with all the changes I have to take in that I will completely relax this weekend. I am so happy I have two days off…

Rainy Day In England

Rainy days always put me in a more reflective mood. I feel like bad weather is good for your brain. Maybe that is why, subconsciously, i wanted to move to England. I also think that bad times are good for your brain. The stress of figuring out a solution is good intelectual exercize. Today i feel very reflective and I feel more confident than yesterday. I have always had cofidence issues. Since I was little I thought everyone was better than me in some way. I am starting to think otherwise at the age of 31. It’s never too late to change your perspective about life or about yourself…

Identity

 Here I am world. See me for who I am. Not what I think I am, but who I really am. And who am I anyway? I am still struggling to figure that out. Am  I a hard working woman with strong opinions and a proud personality? Sometimes shy and other times too confident? Sometimes loving myself, other times hating everything about me? Only God knows. In the end, I am just human…and that I know for sure.

A Beautiful Life

I didn’t write yesterday. It was my first english speaking job. It seems so strange that 2 months ago I was in a different country, speaking a different language. I am amazed how things are moving. I am still broke and desperate for meaning in my life. I crave being alone as I am  living with three other people in the house at the moment. I crave freedom and beauty in my life. I am still searching for it and I will never give up on the idea of a beautiful, exciting life. 

03.09.2017

Starting work tomorrow. I feel excited. I am also thinking about getting more serious with writing. Sorry for this post! Going to bed now in windy England.

Learning From Life

Life is always teaching you something if you really pay attention. I believe there’s a lesson to be learned every day. Just open your eyes. You can learn from the trees how to withstand anything and never forget about your roots. You can learn from the beggar about being more grateful for what you have. You can learn from the old man about history and the value of time. There is so much to see and write about. As I embark on this incredible journey of living, taking risks and moving to a new country, I learn more and more about the diversity and fullness of life and time and space and people. I often feel so small and insignificant in this incredible world and I get overwhelmed by it all but as I settle in a new place and really look around everything seems to come down in size and I start to look at the world with different eyes. People and places become more familiar and I realize the human spirit grows and evolves if you take it through risk, failures and experiences. The lessons learned are more precious than the pain and discomfort you felt when going through the unfamiliar. So learn, grow, take risks and never forget about where you came from.

01.09.2017

The beginning of autumn. Beautiful day and hopeful day. I should get into a routine of writing in the morning. I want to get inspired tomorrow…

Anonymity And My Life’s Ambition

Anonymity. I love being in a city where no one knows me and take in everything, experience the life of the city without anyone noticing me. I love running on unknown trails and breathe in fresh, new air. Being anonymous helps me cope with life and my development. I feel like I still have so much to learn and the best way to do it is to be in a foreign environment. I want to experience the discomfort of a fresh start. I want to feel what it really means to start from the bottom and work my way up. I want to hold on to my old ideas and also develop new ones as I bring more people into my life. In conclusion, I want a lot of things.  And I believe life will give you what you want in the end, but it wants you to fight for it. At this moment in time, my main goal is to build a good life for myself whilst being completely anonymous in a completely new  environment. It might seem like a simple wish but it has a lot of meaning to me. I know I will draw more inspiration from life and experiences as time passes and my ambition will grow.